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I was meant to be there right now. Instead i am cleaning out drawers. Found a letter from you, it ripped me up. I have never met anyone who wanted me to be as happy as you wanted to. I honestly believe that i am not worth you and thats why i lost you. I am so sick of wandering in the dark by myself, i need you. I failed like all of those times before.

I am trying to look past those beautiful blue eyes of yours to see the evil and hatered inside of you. But all i can see is my future. How it could have been. I am still hoping even though i know i shouldn't. I need something to keep me alive. You even talking to me is what keeps me alive for the moment. 

I miss your love so much beautiful bluebell.

I don't know why my heart still keeps fighting for something i have already lost. Why did i even let you in? I guess i thought that this time would be different. I hate myself so much. I miss you so much.

I wish i was there.
I wish you would hold me and make the pain go away.
I'm so sick of theese lonely nights.

I'm so sick of these tears.
I wish i was there.