It's a new year. I've spent the whole day crying, missing you. You really don't see how much it's hurting me. You beeing with someone else. Just like i was nothing to you. I didn't mean shit to you and i can see that now but i'm still clining on to you. I want you to hold me and never let me go. You said you would always love me.. that no one could destroy our love.. and then she came.
I wish i could stop crying. I need you so badly... please come back.
I wish you could feel all the sorrow in my heart I wish you could feel how it's like to be me for one day You would feel the burning tears running down your cheeks The emptyness inside you
You would understand how much i really need you in my life to be happy I miss you so much.. please come back
I can't decide if i want to go out or not. What i really want to do is to stay in with you. Watch a movie and talk about it. Talk about life, about when i am soon there. What we're going to do. I want you to say "I love you" and then i answer "I love you" and after one second of silence i say "too" because that's what you always wanted me to say.
I want to try to cheer you up because you are ill. I want to talk about us, how great it's going to be when i get there but people like me never get what they want. I miss you so much, my heart brakes everytime i remind myself about how i lost you. I failed yet again.. now you're only a friend.
I think i will love you forever and it hurts in me.
I was meant to be there right now. Instead i am cleaning out drawers. Found a letter from you, it ripped me up. I have never met anyone who wanted me to be as happy as you wanted to. I honestly believe that i am not worth you and thats why i lost you. I am so sick of wandering in the dark by myself, i need you. I failed like all of those times before.
I am trying to look past those beautiful blue eyes of yours to see the evil and hatered inside of you. But all i can see is my future. How it could have been. I am still hoping even though i know i shouldn't. I need something to keep me alive. You even talking to me is what keeps me alive for the moment.
I don't know why my heart still keeps fighting for something i have already lost. Why did i even let you in? I guess i thought that this time would be different. I hate myself so much. I miss you so much.
Trying to find a number to Lacuna Inc. I don't want to remember you if you don't want another try. Trying to think of other stuff then you but you're always there somewhere.
I wish that you will be mine someday. In other words, i keep lying to myself. You don't need me at all. You're happy now. It's just that i really miss you and i want to meet you. The whole beautiful you. Maybe it's because i still hold you so dearly in my heart. You can't get out from there. I am sorry... i wish you could break free.
I'm trying to leave you alone, to remove you from my mind. I am trying the hardest to think of stuff you did that i did not like but all i keep remembering is how much i really love you.
If i would just get one more chance. One more chance and i will give you the world. If i just get to wake up with you in my heart every morning knowing that i am in your heart. One more chance that is all i am asking for. I need you in my life.
Michael Jackson - Fall again
Feels like a fire that burns in my heart Every single moment that we spend apart I need you around for every day to start I haven't left you alone There's something about you, I stare in your eyes And everything I'm looking for I seem to find All this time away is killing me inside I need your love in my life
I want to spend time till it ends I want to fall with you again Like we did when we first met I want to fall with you again
We fought in a battle, nobody won And left ourselves a mountain to be overcome You can't run away, the past is said and done I need us to carry on
I want to spend time till it ends I want to fall with you again Like we did when we first met I want to fall with you again
You'll try everything you never thought of before When you live, when you love, and you give them your all You can always give up some more Nothing means anything unless you're here with me I can breathe, I can bleed, I can die in my sleep Cause you're always there in my dreams
I want to spend time till it ends I want to fall with you again Like we did when we first met I want to fall with you again
I want to spend time till it ends I want to fall with you again Like we did when we first met I want to fall with you again
I can't even be happy when i am slightly drunk. I've had a few glasses of wine but i just keep thinking about him. If he could only feel what i feel.. i just want you back my beautiful Bluebell...
I thought he was diffrent. That he was gonna look trough my borderline/adhd surface and come see me for who i really am. I guess i haven't learned yet. He is just like everyone else i've been with. If they find some other girl that shows slightly interest they leave to be with that girl. Miss Normale... how i fucking hate Miss Normale. The girl you see everyday that doesn't leave any impression on you. I wish i could be Miss Normale. Then i would never have lost him.
Yesterday i threw up after i found out that he is dating her. I could barely walk to the toilet, my legs where like spaghetti. I don't even know how this happened. I wish i could forget the last year. Forget about his cute face, his beautiful body and his smile. All i see when i close my eyes is him. I just keep hoping that he will call me and tell me that he is coming over to see me and that he misses me as much as i miss him.
I thought he was different. I just want to be happy.. but i can't without him. Beautiful bluebell.. i miss you so much.
Just a few weeks ago i thought that you would be here with me by now. I miss your love so much. I don't even feel like breathing. You told me that you would always love me and now you are gone. I hate myself. If i had one wish it would be to remove all the bad things i've done to you. I can't do anything anymore. The only thing i do best is crying and my head and my eyes hurts cuz of it.
I just want you here with me like you said you would be.. please come back.
How come you don't realize until something is gone? How his eyes were as beautiful as a calm lake in the summer or how much I wish he were here. I knew before what I wanted. I wanted him here with me. We would walk in the glimmering snow that was in competition with our footsteps. I would tell you something stupid. Like the way i think the glitter on the snow isn't reflections. It is an aura around every person that we only can see when it's snow on the ground and the sun shines on it. You'd smile at me. Stop me softly with your hand. Look me deep in the eyes, take away my scarf from my cold nose down to my jaw line and kiss my lips. I would kiss you back and hug your beautiful body. We would feel the wormth of each others hearts even though it was -17°C outside.
I'm so afraid you'll disappear into love again before we met. Before I get to show just how much I love you. Your personality, your laugh .. the whole wonderful and beautiful you. If you only knew how deep in my heart you really are. How truly beautiful you are. How you shine and sparkel in my heart. I hope we will get what we once had back. If I could do it all over again in a better way I would.
If I could just hold you right now I would be the happiest I've ever been before.
